Undeserving
by MattyBelkin
Summary: Brittany confronts Finn after the events of 3x06.


So many emotions after the episode yesterday. Tried to sort through them all and this is what came out. Everyone on Twitter and Tumblr are getting their knickers in a twist over how much of a dickhead Finn is. I'm not the world's biggest fan of the guy but and whilst I think his actions were completely stupid I think the consequences of them were unlucky to say the least and that he wasn't necessarily being malicious. However, that said, I get pissed with the people that keep saying that Finn accidentally outing Santana to the whole of Ohio equates with her bullying about his physical appearance. Most ridiculous thing I have heard. Ever.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy it.

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><p>Finn was just about to grab a book from his locker when it slammed shut unexpectedly almost trapping his fingers in the process.<p>

He turned to look at his assailant, flinching slight, as though expecting to be slapped again by a fuming Santana Lopez, out for his blood.

Instead, his eyes were met by clear blue ones. Brittany stood, about a foot away from him, her posture rigid, expression disturbingly cold, her usually bright and vibrant eyes dulled to a greyish blue with obvious anger and a kind of pained sadness. But it was the anger that was prevalent, and Finn did not recognise it as the composed sort of crossness that Brittany had berated him with when he had insulted her intelligence.

No, this anger was real, uncontrollable and volatile, causing Finn to shuffle uncomfortably as it rolled from the blonde in palpable waves. What was making him even more uneasy was that this was not just anyone; it was certainly not Santana, who seemed to exude anger in everything she did, but Brittany, who always seemed to radiate a cheerfulness brought about by her refreshing innocence.

"Brittany…" The plea fell from his lips.

"No." She raised her hand to silence him, her voice quiet but firm.

Finn took a moment to appraise the blonde. Her cheerio's uniform was wrinkled and worn looking, her normally meticulous high ponytail a mess and there were large circles beneath her tired eyes that stood out clearly against her pale face, which was drawn and wan. This picture was a far cry from the vibrant girl who, just yesterday, was happily performing handless cartwheels and teasing them playfully during the dodgeball game.

"She cried." Brittany finally spoke. "All night. She cried."

Finn's stomach dropped. After the now infamous slap in the auditorium yesterday afternoon Finn had managed to convince himself that although his actions had perhaps been morally wrong that they would benefit Santana in the long run. After all, Kurt had been so unhappy in the closet and was so relieved to be out and proud regardless of the consequences. He had reassured himself, as he lay in bed last night mulling over the day's events, that Santana would be the same. But now he realised that his thoughts had been immensely selfish. He had been quick to placate his own guilt that was now tearing away at his insides.

"Brittany…" He tried again. "I'm so sorry."

"No." The blonde held up her hand again, her jaw clenching. "You broke her. She's _so_ scared. And it's your fault."

Letting the anger get the better of her she reached out and pushed Finn forcefully in the chest. The strength behind the shove surprised him and he stumbled back a few steps, before staring at her in shock. Brittany quickly retracted her hands, staring at them briefly as though confused by their actions.

"She was so close." She muttered almost inaudibly. "She'd come so far. I was – I am – so proud of her." At this point it seemed as though she was talking to herself. "She was going to tell everyone all by herself, I know she was. And I was going to stand proudly beside her as she finally accepted herself for who she is and let everyone else in on that awesomeness too. She let me hold her hand under a napkin at Breadstix you know?" She told him, finally looking up. The sadness in her rye smile was almost unbearable."She was nearly there. You think I wanted her to hide like that? But I didn't push her because I knew she wasn't ready. I knew she wasn't ready to face her friends, and especially not her family. I hope you're happy Finn because now she doesn't even have the chance to be ready."

"Brittany." Brittany just turned her head away, tears shimmering in her eyes. "Britt please."

"You were wrong by the way." Brittany ignored his desperate attempt to gain some kind of forgiveness. "I asked Rory what you said to her in the corridor. I _do_ love her Finn. I love her more than I've ever loved anybody in this world."

Finn's breath hitched in his throat at the utter sincerity of her confession.

"But the problem is that Santana doesn't love herself as much as I love her." Tears had begun to dribble gently down her pale cheeks. "And now, because of you, I'm scared she never will."

"Britt – please!" Finn burst out, unable to contain the guilt and remorse that swelled inside of him to a capacity so large that he was afraid he might literally explode. "I didn't know that anybody would hear."

"You shouted it at her Finn." Brittany deadpanned, glancing around and wiping at her tears. "In a corridor filled with people." She indicated to the few people who were walking by with a jerk of her head, some of them staring curiously their way.

Finn ducked his head, knowing it was impossible to deny her incontrovertible logic.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again. "Will you tell her that I never meant for any of this to happen the way it did?"

"No." Brittany shook her head firmly, offering no further explanation. Finn sighed.

"I'm sorry." He offered again, recognising that he was starting to sound like a broken record but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Why'd you do it Finn?" Brittany surprised him by asking. The unfamiliar aggression in her voice had seeped away, replaced by a sad, quiet hopelessness that stabbed horribly at his gut.

"She went too far with the trash talk." He muttered. "I...I wanted to get her back I guess."

"You're not fat Finn." Brittany said simply, reaching out to poke at his midriff. "You know that."

"Yeah, but, I'm not the most toned guy ever. Not if you look at Puck or Mike or Sam."

"Then work out." Brittany shrugged her bare shoulders at him. "I do."

"Yeah but..."

"Look Finn." The edge to Brittany's tone made a reappearance. "I told Santana she was being too harsh on you."

"You did?"

"Yeah." Brittany nodded as though it was obvious. "But if you're so worried about the doughnut boy thing, then work out. Santana? She can't stop being Lebanese. It's not something she can change."

"I know." Finn stared at his palms, clearly ashamed.

A buzzing noise cut into the tense silence that had fallen and Brittany removed her phone from down her Cheerio's top and glanced at it.

"It's Santana." She said deliberately. "She's freaking out about telling her parents before that ad airs."

Finn sighed, running one hand through his hair.

"Her parents..." He trailed off, hoping that Brittany would understand what he was asking.

"Not everyone is like Kurt's dad." Was all she said, speaking with a wise kind of maturity that Finn had no idea that she possessed. "I've got to go. She needs me."

Finn just nodded but as Brittany turned to leave he grabbed her forearm.

"I really am sorry." He told her sincerely.

"I know." She gave another simple shrug. "But Finn?" Finn stared at her expectantly and was taken aback by the suddenly steely glint in her eyes. "I lied in my speech yesterday. If you come anywhere near Santana again and a tornado just happens to come to McKinley..." She trailed off and Finn wasn't entirely sure where she was going with this but was more than perturbed by the blonde's threatening tone.

She reached out a finger again and Finn flinched as she pushed it into his stomach, grinning in a fashion that was disturbingly similar to a certain Latina's:

"Let's just say." The finger trailed up his body to poke right in his chest, hard enough to be painful. "I won't try to save you."

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><p>Thanks for reading.<p> 


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